A refreshingly mediocre cookie recipe.
A refreshingly mediocre cookie recipe and a giveaway. Promise. Please know that I know that you know that the moments are rare when someone asks me [moi, yo, watashi] for a cookie recipe. [Okay–for any recipe.] Let’s face it. I’m not the friendly neighborhood go-to-for-recipes kind of gal. I don’t remember the last time someone asked me for a recipe .[Except for a couple of days ago with this one.] Third of all, I’m okay–no–I’m splendid–with not being Betty Crocker Baker-ina. It doesn’t have a thing to do with not wanting to bake–I just don’t bake. There are times when the desire to have the scent of real and true pumpkin something [not a candle or a plug-in] wafting through the house compels me to bake something.
But that doesn’t happen very much.
I firmly believe that you will be astonished if not forthrightly stunned by the lack of anything clever in this recipe — other than the secret ingredients [there are two of them] which I will now divulge.
Now back to the secret ingredients. There are only two. They are true and right.
The first is complete silence.
The second is music playing in the background.
In that exact order.
You need complete silence to begin the delicate balance routine [yes, I envision gymnastics] of
cooking baking [the hair on the back of your neck just stood at attention and I know it–I have received the cooking vs baking lecture enough times to realize the error of my ways–and I did it only to vex]. The music is for any dancing that takes place as you collect ingredients, find measuring spoons and cups from the cavern of your utensil/cookie cutter/extra canning lids/funnels/rolling pins/salad tongs drawer that is the size of a refrigerator box, as well as clamoring through the cupboards locating cookie pans and cooling racks.
Might I interest you in another look at the refreshingly mediocre cookies.
As refreshingly mediocre as these cookies are I tell you they are never around for very long. Not that I think people throw them away or anything like that. I see people of all walks of life casually tasting a refreshingly mediocre cookie and then another and another. They’re delicious.
Now–here’s a very important step.
Fight over who gets the beater.
Or simply sneak into that spot behind your cupboard and crouch down slowly so your knees don’t pop. Eat the batter off of the beater like the champion you are.
If you happen to be in the house by yourself dancing and making cookies–it’s yours. [Say that in the voice of the Beast as he opens the doors to the library and announces the gift to Belle.] The beater is yours–and don’t be shy about how much dough is left on that thing. Oh no, no, no.
Once you’ve consumed as much dough as you want to consume [from the spatula as well] because you are the boss of you and because it’s as tasty as all get out–use a scoop to portion dough onto the cookie sheets.
Or–or–plop some dough into the palm of your hand and munch on it a little bit like a horse with its head in a feed bag as you
trot dance around the kitchen.
You will eventually cook whatever amount of appropriately apportioned dough is left for 8-10 minutes. That makes for a chewy cookie. Cook it for longer if you’d like to play hockey with the little morsels.
Take them off of the cookie sheet and place them gently, somewhat tenderly on the cooling rack.
If you perceive that this is indeed as refreshingly mediocre a cookie recipe as you have ever seen in your life — remember that I mentioned that at the beginning.
By the way. If you are ever in the vicinity and ‘sense’ that I’m beginning a batch of refreshingly mediocre cookies–you have it on good authority that the beater/mixing apparatus covered in cookie dough [pause] is yours.
Again–in the voice of the Beast.
Uhmm. Did you even think I meant it when I said there would be a refreshingly mediocre cookie recipe AND a giveaway? Because here is the giveaway part! I’ve partnered with Bulu Boxes to give one lucky follower a three-month supply of Bulu Wellness Boxes. (T H R E E M O N T H S!!) I know right?! Awesome.
G O O D L U C K!